What is Self-Leadership? Why this Skill is Essential

Have you ever worked so hard to achieve something, only to find that it doesn’t live up to your expectations? Do you ever feel like something is missing in your life, just out of your reach? If so, you’re not alone. Many people find themselves stuck or stagnant, longing for more impact, fulfillment, and joy. But here’s the exciting part: you have the power to change that. Today, we’ll explore the concept of self-leadership, why this leadership skill is essential, and how it can unlock your full potential.

What is Self-Leadership

Self-leadership is the ability to take charge of your own thinking and life. It’s about making good decisions AND taking action that creates more value in your life and the lives of others. It requires that you develop deeper self-awareness and set personal development goals (which are different from achievement or performance goals). But here’s the truth: if you’re not satisfied with where you are right now, you need to learn to do something different. This is where self-leadership comes in.

At some point, we all face thinking challenges that hold us back. Whether you’re a college student, a seasoned professional, or anywhere in between, self-doubt, fear, worry that you don’t measure up, afraid to speak up, procrastination on the “hard” things, introverts and extroverts struggling to make real connections with others and various other obstacles can hinder your progress.

You Have a Choice

So, no matter how you got HERE, to this place where you are right now, you have a choice.  And each moment is an opportunity to make a new choice.

This is what it means to become a self-leader.

Science of Axiology

So, to become a self-leader it’s essential to understand WHERE you are now (versus who you are). That’s where the Axiogenics Self-Leadership Development program comes in. This program measures your thinking from 36 different perspectives, using the formal science of axiology. This is the study of how we value (or think). It will help you understand HOW you are thinking (not what you are thinking, only you know that). It also shows you the degree to which your thinking is in or out of balance, according to the axiological order. This awareness helps you understand where you are now.

Value (Cognition) Quotient – VQ

Each of the 36 thinking perspectives is called a V.Q., or value quotient (like the measurement for I.Q. or E.Q.). They measure how and how well you value or think. When your thinking is IN balance, it is called a VQ Asset. When your thinking is OUT of balance, it is a VQ Bias.  You can think of your Assets as your A-Game or the kind of thinking you use to make your best decisions. This naturally good thinking is easy and natural for you, It’s the kind of thinking that allows you to be in the “flow” and perform at your best.

However, your out-of-balance thinking, known as your VQ Biases, or B-Game thinking can hinder your progress. Your B-Game thinking developed over a lifetime of experiences, and in some case are your brain’s learned response to protect you. Your B-Game thinking is habitual and automatic and happens in a fraction of a second. Sometimes this B-Game thinking causes obvious reactionary, knee-jerk thinking and behavior. But in other cases, the result of your B-Game thinking is subtle, yet it undermines or even sabotages your potential and success all the same.

B-Game Patterns

Your out-of-balance, B-Game thinking may manifest in self-doubt, negative self-talk, procrastination, or resistance to other people’s ideas, these patterns of thinking, sabotage the results you’re trying to achieve. For some people, it may cause you to think less of yourself, or be your less than best self. And yet, for others it causes them to think more of themselves.

And might sound like some of these examples:

“Don’t stick your neck out, then you can’t be wrong”,
“I wonder what they are thinking about me”,
“I’m a fraud, and they will see right through me”.
“Why do they always TELL me what to do? I’ll get to it later, I have plenty of time”,
“That idiot, I can’t believe they just cut me off (in traffic),
“I’m the ONLY one who knows how to do anything around here, if I want it done right, I just have to do it myself”.

Or any number of other things you THINK, or maybe even SAY out loud!

VQ Biases Sabotage Results

There are SO many things we learn to tell ourselves that it’s impossible to give examples to cover every circumstance.  But I assure you, it’s THIS kind of thinking that sabotages the results you’re trying to achieve.

This kind of out-of-balance thinking may be going on for you right now in fact, as you listen to me speak. It is either helping you accept this information, or it has you reaching for the OFF button!  But wait. Just remember that YOU and your thinking will be there too. Your thinking good or bad is constantly causing you to either tune OUT or stay TUNED in.  If you don’t like what you’re hearing or refuse to listen to it, what might you be missing out on? These are the kinds of questions we explore in self-leadership coaching!

So, let’s talk about just one common pattern of out-of-balance thinking, and who knows, it might even be affecting you.

Being Open to the Advice Others

A pattern many people struggle with is Being Open to the Advice and Opinions of others. If you struggle with this thinking, you may feel like others are trying to control you. You may be highly sensitive or even defensive that no matter what they say, or how nice they say it, you feel like they are telling you what to do. You may even feel like a wall is going up whenever someone is making a suggestion.

Imagine for a moment how this kind of thinking might hinder you from learning new things and working with others, possibly limiting your success.

You may wonder what I mean by success. Consider this scenario. What if you tend to put that wall up every time a colleague or your supervisor makes a suggestion for an improvement, but you are resistant? How do you think this might cause others to perceive you? How do you think it would feel to work with or for you?  How would it feel for your supervisor to manage you, especially if you are learning a new role, where you MUST listen to learn?  This is one type of thinking pattern that can really get in your way of learning new things and working with others.

VQ Assets – Your Superpower

Now, it’s natural that you might want to focus on FIXING the thinking that’s getting in your way. Most people tend to think that they need to focus on the areas where they know they struggle or need to improve.  HOWEVER, learning about your strengths or your VQ Assets is your real SUPERPOWER. And often this is the greatest gift you can give yourself in becoming a self-leader with this program.

VQ Summary – Objective Proof

A client recently shared with me the relief she felt in seeing all of her strengths spelled out in front of her on her VQ Summary Report. She was recovering from a long-term bad relationship that eroded her self-worth and self-confidence. Through Self-Leadership Development, little by little she began uncovering and remembering herself and her strengths. She explained that her brain was screaming, “YOU CAN DO THIS”. But, until she saw her Assets objectively (and in brilliant color) as proof in front of her, she did not and could not believe it! And that is the beauty of knowing that your strengths are your superpower.

Nurturing is a Strength

Another client, actually one of my very first clients learned that Nurturing Others was one of his greatest strengths. He was so shocked to learn this at first, that when he received his assessment results, he couldn’t talk about it with me for at least two weeks while he processed this information. He explained that all his life he fought against this nurturing part of himself. He believed it made him weak. Yet, it allowed him to be a great husband and parent. Once he understood that Nurturing Others was actually a great strength, he suddenly felt free of that burden and became a little more comfortable knowing this about himself.

Self-Leadership Development is Transformative

Through Self-Leadership Development coaching, you’ll uncover your thinking biases and learn to pause, question, and disrupt these automatic thinking habits. This process allows you to create more value for yourself and others, enhancing decision-making, overcoming limiting beliefs, boosting confidence, and improving communication skills. You’ll also learn to manage your time more effectively, increase your productivity, and build resilience, and adaptability.

Self-Leadership Development is truly a transformative experience that empowers you to make decisions aligned with your values and achieve the success you desire. If you’re ready to take control of your destiny and become the best version of yourself, schedule an introductory session with me personally. Your journey toward self-leadership and greater success starts now.

Kristin Clark is a certified Axiogenics Coach and co-author of Living a Richer Life; It’s All in Your Head. Kristin has coached hundreds of people from a range of backgrounds and beliefs, industries, and professions. She trains and coaches individuals in Valuegenic Self-Leadership. This powerful development program will help you master your mindset for more confidence, clarity, impact, and meaning, so you can start Living a Richer Life.

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