Transform Your Life: The Journey of Becoming
“WHAT do you want to DO when you grow up?” It’s a question we’ve all heard countless times. As children, it shaped our visions of success. Maybe it’s a question you’ve innocently asked children yourself. But have you ever paused to consider a different question: “WHO do you want to become?” Shifting from “What” to “Who” can truly transform your perspective on success and fulfillment.
Years ago, during a parent-teacher conference, my son’s teacher shared glowing remarks about him. That night, my son whispered, “I know this probably will never happen, but I feel like I could be president of the United States.” It wasn’t about the presidency itself, but about the impact of someone’s belief in him. This moment beautifully illustrates how powerful it is when someone sees potential in us, beyond our immediate actions or achievements.
“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”
Spoken by Abilene in The Help, by Kathryn Stockett
Imagine if every child (including the child within) grew up hearing these words.
Now, think about your own life. Whether or not you had someone in your life to support and encourage you, you CAN be that person for someone else. Do you inspire and lift others? Would you want to work for someone like you? What do your colleagues or coworkers say about you at the dinner table with their family? Are you satisfied with who you are becoming? And, if not, what qualities or attributes do you want or need to develop?
“People may forget what you said, and people may forget what you did,
but they will never forget how you made them feel.” ~ Maya Angelou
Success is not just about what we achieve but also about our character, connections, and the positive impact we have on others.
Redefining Success
Success should not be measured solely by our education, achievements, or what we do. Instead, let’s redefine success by focusing on who we are and the qualities we embody. It’s about becoming more compassionate, creating more value, and positively impacting the lives of those around us. Imagine if we all focused on becoming better versions of ourselves. Not just for our benefit but for the positive ripple effect it would have on our families, communities, and workplaces.
Embracing Change and Growth
Many years ago, my older son shared with his younger brother the idea of becoming a better version of oneself. As a leadership development coach, naturally, this conversation caught my interest. My older son referenced Matthew McConaughey’s Oscar acceptance speech where he talked about his hero being himself in 10 years. My son explained that the “you” of today is not the “you” of the future. He shared with his brother the profound idea: we are always evolving.
Personal Pursuits for a Better You
Setting your sights on becoming MORE is deeply personal and internal. It’s a conscious choice to BE and DO better. This might mean fully listening when someone speaks, with the intent to understand instead of respond. For some, it may mean learning to use your voice, stand up for yourself, or assertively lean in. And yet for others, it might mean getting out of your comfort zone and trying something new.
Instead of or in addition to setting an achievement goal, consider committing to one small change in becoming MORE of who you’d like to become.
Training Your Brain
Changing your thinking habits requires practice, much like learning any new skill. Here are four simple steps to start retraining and rewiring your brain:
- Observe your Thoughts: Start by noticing your predominant thoughts throughout the day. What are the thoughts you wake up with, those that pop up in quiet moments, or when a challenge arises, as well as those you have as you drift off to sleep?
- Become Aware: Consider people, situations, or circumstances that cause strong feelings within yourself. Now think about what is causing these feelings. What is the story you are telling yourself about what is happening? This practice helps build awareness of when your less-than-best ways of thinking are getting “triggered”.
- Pause and Ask: “What choice can I make, and action can I take in this moment, to create the greatest good for all concerned?” (Click to download a helpful free guide).
- Choose to be Valuegenic: Consciously choose actions that create more good in the world. Look for good in everything and everyone, including yourself. Compliment a friend or stranger. Make small talk with the cashier. Hold the door for someone. Smile more. Do something kind. Call your parents or a friend. Need more ideas, check out the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation.
Practicing these techniques will help you take charge of your thinking, gradually melting away negative self-talk and fostering a more positive mindset.
Slow Down
In our fast-paced world, it’s hard to hear ourselves think. Our brains are in overdrive, bombarded by information, technology, and interruptions. To find inspiration, we need downtime—moments of quiet where our minds can wander.
Make room for this essential time. Let your mind wander and find inspiration in the quiet moments. Whether through meditation, a walk in nature, or simply sitting quietly, these moments can lead to profound insights and personal growth.
Who Are You Becoming?
Success isn’t just about WHAT we achieve but about WHO we are becoming. By focusing on our personal growth and the positive impact we have on others, we can lead more fulfilling lives. If you’re ready to embark on this journey of becoming MORE, let’s connect and explore how you can become more of who you aspire to be.
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Kristin Clark is an Axiogenics LLC Partner and Certified Axiogenics Coach. She’s the owner of Insight Coaching and co-author of Living a Richer Life; It’s All in Your Head which she proudly wrote with her dad. She’s coached hundreds of people from various backgrounds, beliefs, industries, and professions. Kristin trains and coaches owners, executives, and business leaders seeking to become Valuegenic Self-Leaders. Kristin can help you master your A-Game to elevate your leadership, engage your team, enhance your performance, embrace your relationships, and enrich your life.
Image by John Hain from Pixabay
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