Disaster. Disturbance. Irritation. Inconvenience.
Have you ever noticed how quickly frustration can take over when plans fall apart?
A traffic jam.
A delayed flight.
A long line when you’re already running late.
Moments like these test us—not because the situation is big, but because of how we think about it.
After 30 years of coaching leaders on how their thinking shapes their results, I’ve learned something important:
Our best and worst selves are often only one thought apart.
And it’s never more obvious than when life refuses to go our way.
As we step into a season filled with travel, gatherings, and higher-than-usual expectations, it’s a perfect time to explore what happens to us in those moments… and how to get ourselves back into our A-Game.
How to Stay Calm When Things Go Wrong
Not long ago, I had one of those airport days where everything seemed to unravel.
A pilot reassigned.
A thunderstorm was rolling in.
A flight cancellation that arrived after three rounds of updates.
Using the airline app, I quickly selected another flight. Then paused.
It was interesting to observe how differently people responded to the same situation.
Some were calm.
Some were fuming.
Same circumstances.
Different thinking.
And that’s when it struck me—this wasn’t really about flights at all.
It was about how quickly we shift into our B-Game when life stops playing by our rules.
The Privilege of Small Problems
Most of what irritates us daily are first-world problems wrapped inside lives of privilege.
Traffic means we have somewhere to go.
A long line means we have access to resources.
A flight delay means we can fly in the first place.
Usually, we’re not stranded without options.
We’re inconvenienced—sometimes sharply—but still incredibly fortunate.
Recognizing that doesn’t dismiss the frustration.
It simply places it back into perspective.
Gratitude isn’t just about big blessings.
Sometimes it’s about remembering that even our inconveniences happen within lives of abundance.
Who Do You Become When Things Go Wrong?
Here’s the real self-leadership question:
When something goes wrong—and especially when it’s out of your control—who do you become?
Do you react?
Or reflect?
Do you blame?
Or breathe?
The quickest way to shift back into your A-Game is by asking the Axiogenics Central Question of Life, Love, and Leadership:
“What choice can I make, and action can I take, in this moment, to create the greatest net value—for myself and others?”
Maybe the answer is patience.
Maybe empathy.
Maybe loosening your grip on what “should” have happened.
And sometimes, it’s simply choosing perspective:
This is an inconvenience, not a crisis. I’m okay. And I can handle this.
Staying Calm When Life Tests You
As you move into the holiday season—traveling, cooking, gathering, managing expectations, (add your challenge) — I hope you find small moments to pause.
To breathe.
To reset.
To choose grace over grumbling.
And I hope that wherever you’re headed, you find calm skies, kind people, a working restroom, and a decent snack.
Because no matter what life throws at us, we get to choose how we think, who we become, and the value we create along the way.
If you think your approach could benefit from a new perspective, let’s chat. I’d love to hear your story. Axiogenics Valuegenic Self-Leadership Development training, coaching, and consulting may be just what you’ve been looking for!
If you’re not quite ready to chat but want to take a step in the right direction, click How to Make Your Life Work Better to get our Free Guide: The One Question That Changes Everything.
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Kristin Clark is an Axiogenics LLC Partner and Certified Axiogenics Coach. She’s the owner of Insight Coaching and co-author of Living a Richer Life; It’s All in Your Head, which she proudly wrote with her dad. Kristin has trained and coached hundreds of owners, executives, and leaders from diverse backgrounds, beliefs, industries, and professions in the pursuit of becoming more Valuegenic Self-Leaders.